Why You Never Feel Like You Are Good Enough

Limiting beliefs are where negative self-talk stems from. They are deep rooted beliefs or assumptions that we hold about ourselves, other people and life in general. Most often, these beliefs are incorrect and completely unhelpful. We usually learn these beliefs from our parents, peers, teachers, and the larger society that we grew up in. Most of us tend to take these beliefs at face value and never question them.  We just assume that they are true!

But just because they come from that beautiful head of yours, doesn’t make them true. You are limiting yourself by those beliefs and you will never truly love yourself if you keep telling yourself these things.

Some of these mistaken beliefs are…

“I am not good enough.”

“I should always act nice no matter how I’m feeling.”

“I am nothing unless other people love and approve of me.”

“I am not important. My feelings and needs are not important.”

Limiting beliefs that you hold about yourself are the root cause of the lack of self-acceptance you experience. Choosing to let go of such beliefs will help you to love and accept yourself. You see, you don’t need anyone else to love you-  it is up to you to love and accept yourself.

It is up to you to love and accept yourself!

Limiting beliefs set limits on your self-worth

Limiting beliefs are usually based on the idea that self-worth depends on something on the outside, for example, your physical appearance, relationship status, the love or approval of another person.

Believing that “my worth depends on how I look” or that “being in a relationship means you are worthy of love or of being loved”– places your self-worth outside of you and prevents you from realizing that you have many beautiful qualities and talents regardless of what the outside world is telling you.

As your self-esteem develops, you will learn to respect and believe in yourself aside from the things you’ve achieved and without being dependent on anyone else to feel secure within yourself.

Discover your own limiting beliefs

We have all developed our own set of  limiting beliefs through hearing direct messages from other people such as “nice girls don’t get angry” or through our reactions to being criticized by other people- “I am worthless“, ignored by others – “my needs don’t matter” or being rejected by others- “I’m unlovable”.

Unfortunately, what tends to happen, is we hold on to these beliefs and mistake them to be true and we act in ways that confirm them.  And as a result this allows others to treat us the same way.

It’s crucial that you understand how your own set of limiting beliefs came about before you can start working on yourself. Self-acceptance and self-love does not happen magically. It takes work and it takes full commitment to unravel what’s within and go to the very core of who you are.

Self-Reflection Exercise

Take 5-10 minutes to reflect and consider any limiting beliefs that you may be holding on to. Work through the following questions and then consider what counter statements you could use to begin changing these beliefs today.

• What is the evidence that supports this belief? If I looked objectively at all my life’s experiences, what is the evidence that this belief is true?

• Is this belief always true for me?

• Does this belief consider the whole picture? Does it take into consideration the positive and negative consequences?

• Does this belief encourage my own peace of mind and well-being?

• Did I choose this belief or has it developed from the influence of my  parents and friends as I was growing up?

Remember that whatever value you think these limiting beliefs may have offered you in the past, they no longer offer you anything and only serve to keep you from the love and acceptance you deserve from yourself.

I would love to hear from you. Leave a comment and let me know if you found this exercise useful. Are there any beliefs that you may need to reconsider that are holding you back?